Friend or Foebia

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Tag Archives: Planet of the Apes

Guns Don’t Kill, People Do. Angry People. Who Also Own Guns, Duh.

If history has taught us anything, it’s that guns don’t kill — people do.  Angry people.  People who feel they’ve been wronged, misunderstood, or robbed of love and/or riches.  People who hold grudges and own the movie “Red Dawn”.  People who work in IT departments or are engineering students, are socially awkward and under appreciated, yet surprisingly nimble at scaling water towers.  People determined to keep the British infantry out of their homes, and their homes mobile.  People with a poor grasp of historical events and the general principal of cause and effect relationships — you know, like George Washington and the cherry tree, and how he chopped it down and freed the slaves.  People who own holsters and otherwise would have nothing to wear with them.  People who attend political rallies for politicians they wouldn’t vote for.  People who enjoy having little friends in their pockets that urge them to be irrational, like a 1920s-era sidekick.  “Go ahead boss, moyder him good!  That’ll learn him!”  People who have neither escaped from the “Planet of the Apes” nor from rumors of being gay.  People who love America and firmly believe in the 2nd Amendment, but no so much in the 1st, 6th, 14th, 15th, 16th, and 19th.  People who wouldn’t get so upset if Jodie Foster would just return their damn phone calls!  People who are willing to water the tree of liberty with the blood of patriots and tyrants, and those who don’t understand the meaning of the word “duck”.  Indeed, guns don’t kill, people do — people who own guns.

That is all.

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